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Uniqlo may work for you, but not for me.

Everytime I walk into the big Uniqlo on Broadway, I feel like I’m in the wrong store, like everyone else is going to this other Uniqlo with great jeans, cool designs and cheap cashmere, and I’m in a bizarro version where all the denim is ill-fitting, the sweaters are pilly and plain, and the clothes in general are too short, shapeless and boring. It’s like if they took a Gap from the early ‘90s, then put almost everything in the dryer. The styles aren’t that different from what they offer across the street at Old Navy, which isn’t a terrible thing, but doesn’t explain why people love this stupid store so much.  

I’ve just had my heart broken there too many times--by a J. Sander coat with crazy sleeves and a crazy price, an Orla Keily dress whose pattern didn’t make up for the fact it fit like a straight-up art smock, and a skirt filled with down like a goddamn comforter that I didn’t actually want but still cannot understand--that I’m always resolving not to go back, at least until another friend convinces me to rethink my stance by praising it to the skies. The always-stylish Kim France of Girls of a Certain Age (and formerly of Sassy, I mean, shit) recently posted a preview of their upcoming collaboration with renowned textile designer Celia Birtwell, but just like with Orla Keily, the designs do not do the fabric justice. And if Kim France can’t make a case for Uniqlo, I’m not sure anyone can; but unlike my need for unflattering Japanese jeans, hope springs eternal.