Have you heard? End times are near and our old pal Nostradamus wants to tell you all about it.

But don't worry too much. Heaven apparently exists, and you better write a book about it while you can.

Or if that's too highbrow for you, there's always Shatoetry, which is just as awful as it sounds.

Perhaps our new president can give you a hand, since we tend to elect thefunniest guy on the ballot.

Don't believe me? Do some research. Just don't try to turn your data into literature, or you'll run into a major argument.

Instead, why not turn your literature into a tourist attraction/"cultural experience" to boost your hometown's profile?

Maybe the ghost of David Foster Wallace will visit and pen an overly verbose postcard while he's there.

But whether you're writing a postcard or novel, a few helpful tips never hurt anyone.

Just don't get too attached to the help. We humans have a tendency to stay in relationships for way too long.

Image by Alex Eben Meyer